Hi,

This may go down in the “dog ate my homework” annals but the following is true:

-The first package that I shipped to you 2nd day air was returned to us because our UPS coordinator that day accidentally mis-keyed your address
-The second package that I shipped to you was accidentally destroyed by UPS

Because each of these things typically happen MAYBE once every six months, and they both happened in successive weeks with the same book, I fear that you are not meant to receive (insert book title here).  That said, we’re giving it another try, though it won’t arrive in time for your next issue.

My apologies.